National Grief Awareness Day, observed on August 30, aims to raise awareness about the many aspects of grief and to create space to openly discuss loss. We will all experience feelings of grief over the course of our lives, and learning to recognize it in ourselves and others can help everyone.

What is grief and how does it impact us?

Grief is a strong emotion that typically arises when a person experiences a loss. And while grief is most commonly associated with the loss of life, it can be triggered by many different situations. For example, people often experience grief after the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, a major health challenge or a major financial struggle. All these situations are unique, but each one can have a significant impact on a person’s day-to-day life.

Types of grief

There are several types of grief, and each one is challenging in its own way. It is not uncommon to experience more than one.

Anticipatory grief

Anticipatory grief is grieving before an actual loss. It can be incredibly difficult to learn you are going to lose a loved one, that your health may not allow you to live the life you’d dreamed of or that you will no longer have a job in two weeks. Anticipatory grief can make it difficult to enjoy the present.

Abbreviated grief

Abbreviated grief may last a shorter period of time. If you experienced anticipatory grief, for example, you have already experienced several emotions and find that you experience grief for a shorter time after you experience a loss.

Cumulative grief

Cumulative grief occurs when you experience multiple losses at one time. Consider the COVID-19 pandemic. Many people lost loved ones while simultaneously losing their jobs or very important moments in their lives, such as graduations, weddings or visits from a loved one on the other side of the world. Cumulative grief doesn’t allow space for you to process one loss at a time, so it can be incredibly complex and difficult to manage.

Delayed grief

Delayed grief can occur days, weeks or even months after a loss. It’s not uncommon to enter “autopilot” mode just to manage everything else happening when a loss occurs. For this reason, you may not experience grief until you have more time to physically or mentally pause and process it.

In addition to experiencing one or more of these types of grief, it is common to move through different stages of grief.

Stages of grief

There are five common stages of grief. However, not everyone experiences all five and the stages don’t necessarily occur in a particular order.

Denial

It can be shocking to cope with a significant loss, so it is not uncommon to feel that something is simply not true. It may be difficult to process what has happened and a person may not be able to accept the situation.

Anger

Once someone understands that a loss has occurred, they may become angry – angry at a higher power, a doctor, oneself or another person. Someone experiencing anger may have a shorter temper and act out of character.

Bargaining

Grief can be incredibly overwhelming, leading a person to have many “what if” moments. During this stage, a person may try to “bargain” to help them feel they could have had more control over the situation. For example, “If I’d have been around more, I would have noticed she wasn’t doing well and gotten her treatment sooner.”  

Depression

During this stage, people often feel hopeless and sad. Emotions are making their way to the surface and people may notice a change in sleeping habits, a tendency to isolate or an inability to focus, among other things.

Acceptance

Once a loss has been acknowledged and processed, people reach the acceptance stage. A person in this stage no longer fights the feelings of grief but understands that there may be good days and bad days. Life may look very different than before but they are in a place that allows them to move forward.

How does grief impact mental health?

It’s important to understand that grief can impact everyone differently and at different times. Recognizing this can help you to be more compassionate with yourself and others experiencing grief.

Common myths and misconceptions about grief

Many people believe that grief follows a timeline, and that people should be done grieving and move on with life after a certain amount of time. This can be incredibly damaging to the mental health of someone who has experienced a loss. Feeling that they “should” be done grieving can make it difficult to reach out for support.

Grief can have a profound impact on mental health, leading to conditions such as depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It can cause deep sadness, difficulties with concentration or a desire to isolate oneself. And being expected to navigate grief at a particular pace can actually exacerbate mental health issues. Professionally, a person experiencing grief may struggle with productivity and absenteeism.

One study found that

• 85% of management-level decision-makers stated their decision-making ranked "very poor" to "fair" in the weeks or months following a grief incident that affected them

• 90 percent of those in blue-collar and other physical jobs experienced a much higher incidence of physical injuries due to reduced concentration in the weeks or months following the grief incident

How to cope with grief

Grief shouldn’t be dismissed as something that will eventually pass. It’s important to be patient, whether that is with yourself or others.

According to a recent WebMD survey, the most common way people cope with grief is by spending time with others (44%). However, the study also showed that grief coping mechanisms vary by the type of loss, which emphasizes just how individual the experience of grief can be. Among those who lost a loved one, 31% turned to spiritual and religious practices. And among those dealing with a serious illness, 50% turned to music.

There is no perfect way to cope with grief, but we have developed a toolkit with resources such as videos, podcasts and emotional and practical guidance for those experiencing grief.

How employers can support employees experiencing grief

CuraLinc’s data shows that grief is one of the top five presenting concerns among employees, affecting a significant number of participants. Grief can greatly impact a person’s ability to perform at work, but receiving support and navigation to appropriate resources can help them cope with their grief in a healthy way.

Bereavement leave

Bereavement leave is most commonly offered for immediate family members, but employers may wish to offer such leave in other situations as well. The most important thing is that these policies are valued and upheld by colleagues and leaders. If someone is on bereavement leave, this time should be respected. Time away can help someone process their loss without the added stressor of work demands.

Flexible work arrangements

If possible, allowing an employee to work from home can be beneficial. They may feel more comfortable working through some difficult emotions alone at home while still getting their work done. Employers can also help by lightening the workload for a period of time.

Promote mental health benefits

Since grief can occur in many different scenarios, employers should promote their mental health benefits year-round. National Grief Awareness Day is a unique opportunity to remind employees of their mental health benefits, but available tools and resources can also be discussed throughout the year. Features like CuraLinc’s Mindstream™, for example, allow employees to receive support on-demand without the need to speak to anyone, which can be overwhelming for some people experiencing grief. The company intranet, employee newsletters and annual benefits fairs are all opportunities to raise awareness about available mental health benefits.

Hold education sessions

Employers can coordinate with their workplace mental health providers to offer educational workshops on topics such as grief. Webinars are in-person workshops provide employees with an opportunity to learn about grief from a professional in a relaxed setting and may encourage them to seek further support or help them support others.

Offer grief support groups

Workplace mental health providers such as CuraLinc can also offer virtual and in-person grief support groups moderated by licensed professionals. Regardless of the format, connecting with others can provide a positive experience for those experiencing grief. Our client, CNO Financial Group, has received an incredible response to offering grief support groups to its employees.

“These groups provide an environment for individuals to express their emotions, navigate grief, get tips and resources on where to seek help and support, but it’s all done in a setting that connects individuals that are going through very similar circumstances,” explains CNO Financial Group Well-Being Director, Kami Reuter. “I’ve actually had executives of our company come up to me and say that individuals reached out to them personally to thank them for offering these sessions.”

Grief awareness benefits everyone

Grief is a difficult road to walk alone, but the right support and resources make it easier. Learning about how unique grief can be for each person is essential and meeting their individual needs – whether that be increased community and conversation or simply space – can go a long way in helping someone cope during a challenging time.

Additional resources

CuraLinc Healthcare's Grief and Loss Toolkit

Coffee with CuraLinc Episode - Meeting Employees Where They Are: Creative Ways to Use Your EAP featuring CNO Financial Group Well-Being Director, Kami Reuter